Rick's wild ride

It was one of the first beautiful summer days of the season 2021. It was a Friday afternoon and I am dresses in some nice light colored slacks and a baby blue short sleeved button down.  I drove off at 3:30 in the afternoon to pay my respects. My mother called from Florida the day before and said “Ricky, Tony, the last relative of my generation just died and I’m having a real hard time with this being so far away so you need to go and represent me”, so off I went.  It was a beautiful drive past the Minneapolis chain of lakes and down the tree lined boulevard of 50th street in Edina. Once I arrived I chatted with distant family members that I hadn’t talked to in a while, because nobody else has died recently. Also chatting up closer family that I hadn’t seen in a while as well, because of COVID. I made an impression on as many people as possible, payed as many respects as possible, and headed home.

Driving back down 50th I realized that my timing was perfect to hit rush hour traffic so I relaxed and decided to roll the windows down and enjoy the ride. Just then the traffic seemed to stop in front of me and I realized that a small white dog, maybe a little bigger than an average cat was running into the two lanes of traffic on my side of the boulevard. Then, right on cue, I saw a man, maybe mid 30s with a wind breaker hanging off his shoulders, lightly jogging after the dog. Instead of the dog crossing traffic, it turned and began running down the middle of the road with traffic. It was at that point I saw the leash, still hanging off the dogs collar. I was about 5 cars behind the lead cars  who slowly trailed the little dog and her possible owner. This went on for 2 blocks. The dog running ahead of the jogger and the cars, me include pulling up the rear. The man/boy with windbreaker never getting close enough to grab the leash.  I then saw at the end of the next block, 2 members of a construction crew who saw the chase. They walked out into the road to assist in the capture. I saw the dog speed up towards the crew member and thought, well its all over now. Just as the big burly guy began to reach down towards the dog and it’s leash, it darted towards the center median. The big man tripped over his own feet, fell into the other crew member and they both went sprawling out across the roadway.

The good news was the big men were not hurt. Pick themselves off the pavement and went about their way. The bad news was the dog sprinted across the boulevard and in to oncoming traffic. Luckily the two lanes on the other side saw the dog and stopped just in time. As the lead car stopped, the owner jumped out and reached down to pick up the dog. That’s when I knew this would all be over.  But the dog wasn’t done. It turned on a dime and started running back towards the original path. A few of the cars in front of me were able to continue on past the havoc before the dog sprinted back into our lanes of traffic. Now there was only two cars between me and the fuzzy little canine. Just as the fuzzball was starting to slow, the car in the far right lane sped past the dog, stopped in the middle of the right lane and bounded out of his car with intent and purpose. This guy looked much more young and spry than windbreaker guy and I knew, this was the hero we needed to nab the little white rascal. The dog ran right past the young guy and he took chase. He tried to stamp his foot on the leash and missed. And again with the same result. Then he turned and sprinted after the trailing leash with everything ounce of speed he could muster. Wow, this guy was fast, I mean 40 yard dash fast but he couldn’t quite catch up to the leash. How could this be? This dog has been running for over a mile and this young man has put chase for another 3 long blocks to no avail. Just as he ran out of gas, the dog moved towards the center medial again. The lone car in front of me decided they’d had enough and push on passed the calamity. Here I am, with a front row seat, driving at the speed of dog, passing a hunched over sprinter. I leaned out my window as I passed him and asked, “ever see a dog that small run that fast?” He looked up at me and all he could say between paints was “nu uh,…what the…”.

As I rolled past him I saw two highschool girls out for their cross-country training session just as they noticed the dog on the loose. Jogging into the fray from the right, the dog turned and sprinted up the hill away from my position. These girls look like they’d been running all their lives so I was confident in their ability to put this issue to rest. As they gained on the pup, it turned and ran towards the median again and this time, into oncoming traffic. I almost closed my eyes to avoid seeing a tragic end to this saga but the cars slowed and then stopped just in time. The first car’s door opened and an older lady called for the pup to join her in the car. It was working. The dog slowed and was moving towards the open door. This was it, it was going to end with the dog tapping out to a little old lady’s loving arms. I proceeded to drive past the members of the girls track team and looked over just in time to see the dog take off down the street again. Since I was a already a little ahead of the sprinter I decided to get involved. Especially since, no more than two blocks ahead of me was a freeway entrance and if the dog went the wrong way at that point, the story would end real quick and real ugly. I slammed on the gas pedal, bolted up a couple hundred yards and stopped my car , a 1/2 block from the freeway, blocking the two lanes of traffic.  I leaped out and assessed the situation. Coming at me up the hill is the dog followed by the girls. To my left is my car, a sidewalk and a fence so if a could funnel the dog to my left, I may have a chance. If it got through or goes right, all may be lost. I started moving in with my arms spread out wide. Slowly, slowly toward the dog while trying to angle it left. The girls saw what I was doing and they slowed and moved to my right. The dog slowed also, trotting up the road towards me but not really looking up. It was working, I was going to stop her. Then the dog started towards the median again so i made a quick move to my right still with my arms spread wide open and in that instant, i must have spooked her because the dog darted to my left towards the opening between my car and the fence. Without thinking I just jumped. I leaped in the air with my hands out, reaching for anything I could grasp. In the next moment I was on the ground, and I had something in my hand. I held my fist up to my face and realized I had the end of the leash. I Did it! I really did it! I had the dog in custody. I stood up and looked at the dog full of accomplishment. That was the moment the fur ball realized the adventure might be over so the dog jumped up and sunk it teeth into my arm. While I was shaking the viscous canine off my arm some lady drove up to my position and said she will take the dog back to the owner. My thoughts of standing on a podium with a badge of courage turned to, get that flea bag away from me. I gave Gladys Kravitz the leash and walked back to my car , deflated. Just before I reached my vehicle the girls arrived on the scene and called me a hero and that smile held for the whole 30 minutes until I drove into my driveway. I stepped out of the car just as my wife walked up. She took one look at me and asked “what the hell happened to you, I thought you were at a funeral?”. I looked down and realized my nice slacks were dirt, grass and blood stained, my shirt was torn and my left arm was bleeding in more than a few places.

My smile turned to more of a grin and I responded by telling her that Jews take their grieving seriously.